Etiquetas sociales

Identifica tus etiquetas y deshazte de ellas

Uno de los obstáculos más frecuentes que me encuentro con mis coachees a la hora de avanzar hacia sus objetivos, son las “etiquetas” que han ido “comprando” a lo largo de su vida provenientes de su entorno.

Os cuento el caso de  una chica de veinticuatro años, estudiante de medicina, que me comentaba las dificultades que tenía para relacionarse con los demás, concretamente con los miembros del sexo opuesto, debido a un anclaje que tenía de la infancia en el colegio en el que le colocaron el mote de “tímida”, “retraída”.

Ella me decía, que cada vez que se acercaba a un chico sus amig@s se reían de ella porque la veían bajo la premisa de “tu no te puedes relacionar con los demás porque eres tímida”.

Claro, esta creencia le resonó de tal manera que la hizo suya y empezó a creérselo. Su lenguaje verbal y no verbal empezó a transmitir esos códigos aún más y el resultado fue que a menudo entraba en lo que yo denomino el “modo caracol”.

Esconderse en su cáscara que acabó convirtiéndose en su zona cómoda.

coaching personal

No es de extrañar que estas etiquetas las llevemos “pegadas” tal cual un letrero de un anuncio publicitario el resto de nuestra vida hasta que nos damos cuentas de ellas y decidimos “despegarlas”.

Una herramienta que propongo es pensar en cómo te ves a ti mism@. Cómo te describirías si tuvieras que presentarte ante un número de personas.

Una vez tengas esos adjetivos, clasifícalos en si son tuyos o si los has “comprado” de tu entorno social.

Escribe en hojas en blanco los que no son tuyos, los que no forman parte de tu yo auténtico y rómpelos. Rompe las hojas con afán. Porque esas etiquetas ya no formarán parte de ti.

Esas etiquetas nos conectan no con quien realmente somos sino con lo que los demás nos dijeron que teníamos que ser.

Si aceptamos el “como debería ser” de los demás, de la sociedad, nos desconectamos de nuestra pura esencia y nos robamos la belleza que está genuinamente presente.

¿Qué hacemos a partir de aquí?.

Siguiendo el caso de mi coachee, el hecho de creer que ella era tímida y que nunca podría relacionarse con naturalidad con los demás hacía que se posicionara en el mundo desde una perspectiva reactiva.

Es decir, esperando que los demás le trataran de la misma forma que sus compañer@s de colegio.

De forma que su profecía se autocumplía y entraba siempre en un círculo vicioso que no le permitía crecer personal ni profesionalmente.

Cuando le propuse que cambiara de posicionamiento vital y que adoptara la proactividad en lugar de la reactividad.

Es decir, en lugar de esperar a que los demás se dirigieran a ella fuera ella quien se dirigiera a los demás me contestó:

  • ¡Pero eso es imposible! .
  • ¿Qué es lo que lo hace imposible?. Le pregunté.
  • ¡Pues porque ese el papel que me dan!.

Sólo pronunciar esa frase se quedó en silencio con cara de sorprendida ante sus propias palabras.

Dí que si

A lo largo de la conversación tomó conciencia de que tenía que tomar las riendas de su vida y decidir quién era en realidad y cómo quería mostrarlo en su entorno.

Se dio cuenta de que estaba a merced de lo que opinaban o ella creía que opinaban los demás sobre sí misma y actuaba en consecuencia. Esto ocurría de forma automatizada e inconsciente.

Hasta que los sacamos a la luz durante el proceso de coaching.

Tomar conciencia de las etiquetas que llevamos pegadas tiene un gran poder liberador porque nos permite reinventarnos según nuestros parámetros.

Según lo que somos y lo que queremos ser porque ello configurará nuestra vida a partir de ahora.

Para ello sigue estos consejos de forma constante y consciente hasta que consigas naturalizar tu nueva pauta vital y seas quien tu decidas ser.

Escúchate. Haz un trabajo de autoconocimiento

Conecta con quien eres en realidad. Con esos adjetivos que te describen que forman genuinamente tu ser auténtico.

Posiciónate en el mundo desde ahí. Se valiente.

Silencia tu saboteador interno.

Ten el valor de mostrarte tal como eres aunque temas prever críticas de los demás.

Se fiel a ti mism@.

Aunque tengas que ir contra corriente. Aunque ello implique estar sol@.

People smiling

Dale un enfoque positivo.

Hay estudios científicos sobre el poder del pensamiento positivo que demuestran que no tenemos porque ser esclavos de nuestra genética, que a través de nuestra actitud y comportamiento podemos cambiar nuestra realidad.

Y recuerda: “Conecta con tu yo auténtico, porque éste muestra la belleza que está genuinamente presente”.

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